belly

An ache.

I have only one choice and that is: to act.

A desire I cannot reason with any longer.

A feeling telling me

“It is time.”

Change is here.

In absence, there is an answer.

It is time.

The absence of cluttered routine

is a moment for me.

A holy time

for me.

The blank time

was meant to bring me home.

Home within myself.

This was my gift in December.

It is time.

And then as if I were microscopic, I was suiting up to dive.

Entering into my mouth,

plunging down my throat,

and landing into my belly.

Delicately floating and watching for answers.

Cold, dark, baron,

and confusing.

Something is not here; absent.

It is time to leave. I need to go.

I shoot up

popping back into the light.

Surrounded with air.

I breathe.

Thinking.

I could not find anything down there.

Why?

It doesn’t make sense. There was nothing there

only an unwanted nothingness.

What is the message?

And then the thought:

It is time to accept what is not here.

It is time to start trying again.

It is time to build a family.